Monday, 25 February 2008

Z plumbs the shallows again

So, what really got to me was the humiliation of the doctor advising me to lose weight. Splendid chap, yes he's right and all that, but it wasn't very polite of him, was it? I've known him for years, our children went to school together and we meet at parties and stuff. And I'm not that fat. Not really. Am I? Tell me, Badgerdaddy, am I really that fat?*

So, I sniffled miserably for a bit - confirmation of the arthritis added to the gloom a bit, and it wasn't until the middle of the night that determination set in, which was when I decided to go and buy the bike. It had to be new and expensive, because I don't waste money, so I would then have to use it.

I will say, having moaned mightily in my last post, that the Sage appreciates me no end. He is reet proud. Not that he says so. He tells other people though - not about the diet, that'd be rudely personal and he's vastly polite, but that he's proud of me for doing something actively about my hip. They tell me. They also tell me that Al boasts about me. This is sweet. In other respects, the Sage makes clear his appreciation. He can hardly keep his hands off me. This is splendid and most enjoyable, even with my present lack of flexibility.

I'm wondering - jesus, I can never resist planning ahead - what excuse I can formulate for going to the doctor in another six or nine months. You know, when the weight loss will be very noticeable and I can slink in through a crack in the door hinge. I don't want to be ill, obviously. I just want him to weigh me and change my medical record, without having to embarrass myself again and ask him to.

Right, I'm just off to buy the day's vegetables. Got to keep a good supply of carrots, or I might eat something foolish.

*honesty is appreciated, darling boy, if I do strike you as an absolute porkster you can tell me. After all, I'm half a stone lighter than when you last saw me, so I'll take that into account.


Anonymous said...

You'll have to stub your toe or something else innocuous that'll mean you have to go, but probably isn't serious ;)

Z said...

Yes, nothing that means I'll laze around eating pies, but that will justify a visit. I'll work on it. Got at least a stone to go before I want to see him again.

badgerdaddy said...

Nope, you've honestly never struck me as anything other than normal sized. By that, I mean the size you should be - not bigger, not smaller, just healthy and strong.

So there.

And when you see the doctor, make sure you tell him I said muscle weighs heavier than fat, and if he doubts it I shall send him photos.

Z said...

Precious little muscle on me, dear. What's there is all lard.

And thank you. I know I was way overweight, but he was a bit overemphatic. The reason I know I was overweight was that I weighed more than I did at the end of any of my pregnancies.

I agree with Katy that the whole BMI thing is completely misleading.

badgerdaddy said...

It's not just misleading, it's complete and utter bollocks. A very loose guideline is being treated as gospel, and it's nonsense.

According to doctor's charts, I should weigh between 9.5 and 10.5 stone. When using very posh scales which used electrical resistance to approximate fat content, it worked out that I would be just over 11st if I had 0% fat on my body – that's just muscle, bone and organs. Already over my ideal weight, with so little fat I would be dead.

Hmmm. I think the doctor can stick his charts.

The only doctor that's ever spoken sense to me about all that was in Yagnub, which I think might earn a post of its own.

Z said...

Ro and I were talking about BMI the other night; he said that when his was checked at work, the doctor measured his shoulders or something - can't remember exactly what he said - as well as his weight and height, to take his build into account when working out his suggested BMI range. he argued mightily when I said that isn't what's normally done and it took a while to convince him, because it's so obvious that he couldn't believe it.