Apple pie. And ice cream. Bad Z, bad.

I'm quite silly. I made an apple pie last night. Fortunately, the Sage ate three quarters of it. And I only topped the apples with pastry, I didn't bottom (?) it too. But, as I said before, I do have an unaccustomed desire for puddings. Also, I'm hungrier than usual. Mostly, I'm eating fruit (in moderate amounts), raw vegetables and the odd slice of dry bread or toast, but I've also eaten two packets of crisps in the past week and I find it hard to care.

I'll be terribly fed up if I start putting on weight again and have to struggle all over again to take it off.

I've been meaning to say, I found in a long-unopened drawer a skirt I bought years ago in M&S. I would have been in my late thirties when I bought it, I should think. It's a size 10 and the measurements stated are waist 24 inches, hips 34 inches. Blimey. And it used to fit me. I haven't even tried to put it on now, it would be too embarrassing not to be able to get one leg in. There was also a pair of trousers, also M&S, and they, also a 10, said 25/36. They are still very old but, obviously, newer than the skirt. Now, measuring about 27/37, I'm a size 10 again. When I was a teenager, I didn't know anyone, however skinny, who was less than a 10. Now, if I weighed the 7 stone 10 lbs that I couldn't help being when Al was a baby (I was a 10 then) I'd probably be a 6. Oh well. I suppose it sounds good to be a smaller size, even if it isn't quite realistic.

Hmmm and hmmmm again.

Well, I'm back hovering around 100kg again, but I really don't mind. I've been running again, and I'm very pleased about that. Not least because on Saturday, I managed to combine it with other things I wanted to do, where in the past I might have just run and left it at that.

Saturday morning, I went for a run around 7:15, and saw a beautiful sunrise. My iPod playlist is just perfect for running, and I've been pruning it for some time now (nearly five years) to get the perfect blend of long, slow songs and upbeat, uplifting... And some plain odd stuff. The standouts this week were Bruce Springsteen's Girls In Their Summer clothes, peaking right at the top of a hill I decided to run up quickly. The dolphins surged right at the top with the song, and I couldn't help but grin. And Pearl Jam's new album backspacer, which is a very, very nice running companion as it's their most upbeat in years and has a bit of a punk spike to it in places.

Anyway, after my 30-minute run, I got home, stretched, changed then took the dog for a 90-minute walk, then got home, changed again and went down to the gym to do some upper-body weights. I tried doing bicep curls with a 20kg weight (44lbs, Fat Fans) and failed, and I like to think it's because I'd already done some sets with 14 and 16kg weights, and done dips and pull-ups. Yes, that must be the reason.

In short, I feel very good. Dog walking gets me out absolutely every day, and adding running to it is making me very happy. Next week, we shall try adding swimming last thing in the evening to that mix, and we'll see where I end up. Probably heavy as ever, but considerably more solid.

Z is still here

This blog still exists, even if it's hardly ever updated.

Things go on much the same. I weighed myself yesterday on the bathroom scales - I put in my contact lens once I'm downstairs, so I have only the vaguest idea of what it reads, but I reckon I've lost a pound or two or three - certainly not gained, which is splendid news because I haven't actually been dieting.

I made various vows for the autumn a while ago, which I can't quite remember now (yeah, I'll reread sooner or later) but I know it included keeping up with the aquacise. Well, scrub that. I actually can't, it's not laziness. The exercises included a lot of balancing on one leg and then the other, and I can't balance on my right leg for long because the hip cracks and gives way, which isn't as bad as it sounds. And when you lean back into the long thin foam thingy, I can't do that because it hurts to stand up again. And it's too energetic overall. So pah to that.

I found my cycling limit back in September, when I went nearly 20 miles in an afternoon, and that was a shade too much. 15 would have been okay - I was okay of course; that is, I made it back, but my leg hurt for a few days after.

As to what I eat, still carrying on being sensible. As I said, I'm not really dieting, but the effort not to put weight on won't stop ever. Portion size is one major issue, and I suspect it is for a lot of people who think they eat the same as thinner friends. If you are eating with friends, or if the food is really tasty then you are tempted to clear your plate, even if three-quarters of what's on it is actually enough.

The other difficulty is the onset of colder weather. I've made sticky toffee pudding twice this month. Yes, everyone adores it - and actually, the pudding is not that bad, being simply cake with a whole lot of dates in, not too wicked at all. But the sauce, oh, that sauce. Butter, sugar and cream. All heated up with walnut and poured over. Just too delicious for words and a pound on the hips in every mouthful. I confess, I want proper puddings. Regularly. I've been craving stodgy sweetness for a week now and all the low fat plain yoghurt in the world ain't making it go away. I am telling myself I can justify it because my husband would be so thrilled and I'd only need eat a tiny bit - I lie. I will be a fool if I give in.

Anyway, I haven't made any such thing tonight. Though I have wanted food at odd hours. However, I've eaten several sticks of celery, two satsumas and a banana instead of biscuits and cake - not that there's any cake in the house. Instead of toast and jam, perhaps.

Much lighter, actually.

Which is nice.

Weighed myself at my mum's again this morning, sans coat and boots, and the scales said I was about 15 stone 5lbs, which is a lot less than I thought I was. In fact, I'm a bit blown away by that. 97.27 kilos. Haven't been this light for a while – not since training for my first half marathon, in fact. [Side note, by the end of that half marathon I was 14 stone 10lbs (about 206lbs, US Fat Fans), though a lot of that was fluid loss. That's the lightest I've been in years, and it's only 8lbs away from where I am now.]

I'm very, very happy this morning; and all this while still drinking beer. Hurrah!

Did you hear me at the back? I said HURRAH!

Lighter, again.

Yes, I am. My new new approach has worked, mwaaaahahahaaaaaaaa!

I got swine flu late in July, the day before I was due to go on holiday, as recorded here. Been walking the dog on a long walk every morning, and a medium one in the evening, and I have visibly lost weight. Not loads, but I'm certainly under 100 kilos again. I weighed myself this morning at my mum's while wearing a big waterproof coat, hiking boots and soggy jeans (the soggy bit is all-important…), and her scales said I was about 16 stone 4lbs, or 104 kilos. I'm pretty sure you can take off the four kilos in clothing… Can't you? Anyway, it certainly puts me under 16 stone, which makes me very happy indeed. Especially as, with work and time constraints, I've not been swimming for absolutely ages. Will hopefully start again on Thursday or Friday this week.

It's a gentle weight loss, but it's satisfying, and all the walking is changing my body shape a little, but not losing any strength, which is perfect. I couldn't lose my outrageously muscular legs – they are my beloved's favourite part of me (well, in the top five), so they have to stay.

When I get down to the gym this week, I'll use their scales and find out the good news more accurately.

I'm burbling. Offski.

A new approach

Well, I'm still a porkster. And as well as the running was going, when I ran over six miles, the grind started in my knee again, which was a bit upsetting.

So I changed the plan. I haven't run for a while, and I'm looking into a different style of running as an experiment. It's very, very different, and may or may not solve the knee trouble. But that's in the future.

Right now, I'm walking 6-10 miles every day, thanks to our beautiful new dog Milly. We go for a long walk in the morning, while everyone else sleeps, then we go for another longish walk in the evening. Some days, she gets another walk in the middle of the day too, but not usually by me.

So I'm putting the miles in, in a non-stressful way. And I've started swimming again, which is tough and I'm enjoying. The plan is to walk the dog early, work, make dinner, walk the hound again, then swim lengths late evening. It's a very relaxed way for me to take exercise, and it's working for me.

I'm tiring easily at the moment, and I doubt I could handle a workout or a game of tennis – I had flu last week, and with the number of cases of swine flu in the town, I'd be amazed if it wasn't the porcine variety. It sucked, and it's left me a little weak and easily tired, but I'm getting there. And it came at the shittest time – the day before I was due to go on holiday with WonderWife and crazy stepdaughter, in fact. So they got a week away, and I managed to join them for just a couple of days at the end of it.

Enough of my burble. I'm also easing back into work with the whole tiring easily thing, and should really have a go at getting something done today...

Z perseveres

It has struck me, in the past couple of weeks, that I'm finally getting a bit fitter. By the way I cycle, mainly. My bike only has 3 gears, which is quite complicated enough. But now I go up most hills in 2nd gear because 1st doesn't give enough resistance and I feel stronger generally. Still don't want to think about the bulging calf muscles, though at least I suppose muscles are better than fat.

Anyway, it's taken long enough. But it shows perseverance, don't you think?