Friday, 9 October 2015

Z is stable - in respect of weight, anyway

It took a post from Badgerdaddy for me to realise for how long I've neglected this blog.  Last time I wrote, I'd been losing weight without trying but worse, so had my husband.  It turned out that he had cancer of the oesophagus and nothing could be done about it and he collapsed and died in my arms, literally - and unexpectedly - in August last year.

This is not a blog about widowhood and all that - without a husband who couldn't eat and was losing weight drastically, my own weight has stabilised.  I cook and eat and look after myself.  I haven't weighed myself for ages, but am about half of Badgerdaddy's present weight - blimey, Badge darling, what's that about?

Diets that leave out major food groups aren't for me.  I'm glad that butter, eggs, salt and so on are readmitted to the spectrum of permissable foods - but I'd never given them up anyway.  I know that more people nowadays have to be careful about what they eat, eg gluten or wheat, but I'm not one of them.  I have no reason to think that I'm allergic or intolerant to any food.  So it's about putting the fork down and not overeating, as far as I'm concerned.

Success is a bit up and down in that respect, admittedly, but overall I'm still a size 10, which is what I want to be.  I think I look pretty damn good and I am happy with my size.

My second hip is getting painful and, whilst it's not imminent, I feel that a hip replacement isn't that far away.  A year or two, I should think.

It's been a while, Rib ticklers.

A long while.

I got injured. Well, I had a niggling issue with a hamstring that became a larger complication on a couple of occasions, to the point that the doctor prescribed two painkillers to take together (Naproxen and cocodamol) and my partner actually had to dress me… Yeah, not ideal.

It's put a real stop on exercise. Plus, we had a son, and he is quite ridiculously beautiful. I actually get stopped in the street by strangers who comment on how utterly gorgeous our children are. They put a lot of stress on time, those little people.

We moved house too. And I am busier than ever with work.

But I've put a LOT of weight on, I would say around three stone, which is over 40lbs, US Fat Fans. I'm right alongside the heaviest I have ever been (17.5 stone (nearly 250lbs, US Fat Fans), in London 15 years ago).

I can't believe I let myself get to this point. That I barely even noticed I was there until I realised nothing fitted me any more and had to buy clothes just for a work trip.

Fucking fuck.

I'm totally out of shape, and actually feel too heavy to run at the moment. My plan is, when I feel a bit more rested (ie Monday), I will cycle to the gym at lunchtimes which will both help my hamstring, and help me be less fat.

There is more to come, but I have to get back to work. Speak soon, Rib ticklers.