Thursday, 23 April 2009

Sensitivity in the New Man

I was paid a compliment by a woman who I know to be absolutely straight-talking yesterday. Not that she was straight talking just yesterday (which she was), she is a straight-talker, and I saw her yesterday.

You know what I mean. I'm lucky Dave doesn't come here with sentences like those.

Anyway, she said when she saw me that I was looking slimmer. I forget her actual words, but it was certainly a compliment; it's been almost a year since I saw this woman last, so any weight loss might seem more pronounced to her. I'm surprised she remembered what I look like, actually.

But I didn't take the compliment well. I don't get a lot of compliments, and if I do they're usually about my eyes, which let's face it are a genetic accident. I responded by saying: "No, I haven't lost any weight. I left some on the train, I have to pick it up from lost property on the way home."

Good response, I thought, but looking back, why on earth could I not just accept the compliment?

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Z is stuck

Spirit is still willing, but so is the will to eat. I know I'm slipping a bit, gently - it's not doing any harm so far but my weight is still about the same - on the bathroom scales the needle hovers a little below the 9 1/2 stone mark, whether by a pound or two or three varies, but there always seems to be some reason not to start that final stern diet.

I have bought trousers and a skirt today for which I can't afford to put on any weight. I suppose that could be considered a start. Could it? One thing is that I've had a bad cold with a chesty cough and so I haven't been out on my bike much at all. I'm better now, so am back on the bike. Today, I was in Norwich so didn't think I'd have to go into town afterwards, but then I had to go out after all, at about 8 o'clock this evening. It was only between 4 and 5 miles altogether, but maybe worked off a bit of that spaghetti Carbonara I misguidedly cooked for dinner tonight. It's noticeable, by the way, that however much I make of that dish it all gets eaten. Tomorrow, I have too much shopping to do to fit in the bike panniers so I'll go by car, but I've a meeting in the evening 3 miles away, so that'll do for the daily exercise.

Next week I'll be in Italy, but I know I'll do a lot of walking there. I daresay the diet will go awry - when in a hotel I eat plain bread, fruit and yoghurt with black coffee for breakfast as a concession to dieting, but afterwards I'm not going to bore my companions with extreme care. Besides, I like the food too much.

Saturday, 4 April 2009

In a groove

It's been a while, because nothing has changed. I haven't been weighing myself because I am pretty sure I'm just the same. In one way this means that I've settled into a new weight 22 lbs less than it used to be, but since I actually wanted to lose 30 lbs or so, it does indicate that I'll have to kick-start it sooner or later. Not this week, i've just bought some cheese and pâté from the market. That's the thing - if I want to actually lose weight rather than simply not put it on, I can't afford any indulgences at all, and when you're overweight and say you're cutting down it's all right to refuse fattening stuff, but when you're not particularly overweight it sounds picky and borderline obsessive.

The good thing is that the warmer weather is making cycling easier. And my hip is hurting loads less. Well, I say hip, but actually it's my knee that troubles me more, but I know it's the strain put on it by walking awkwardly, plus referred pain. I'm managing not to limp at present, most of the time, thanks to the extra 9 mm lift in my shoe and less pain.

I can't nag you enough - if you're now in your 30s and you get joint pains, do lose the weight now. 20 years isn't long, even if it seems it now, and I'm shocked at losing a third of an inch from my leg because of arthritis damage over the last couple of years. I wasn't that fat - that wasn't the cause of the problem which seems to be heredity plus bad luck, but if you're overweight and quite energetic, that's a hell of a lot of strain on your joints. All I can hope to do now is slow down damage: what's done can't be put back.

Of course, in 20 years techniques will be better for repairing problems, but it's still our job to take care of ourselves and I don't think we can rely on that. After all, will the NHS pay for it by then? Will we afford health insurance? Do you actually want major operations? - a replacement is never as good as the original was. I know how I put the weight on, over quite a few years, and it didn't take much extra.