A Flush in the Pan

Katy had a rant yesterday (over on A Lard off my Mind), about assumptions made by thin people about fat people being unhealthy and unfit. The bit that suddenly reminded me of something of which I'm about to tell you was her reference to her brother, who eats a really bad diet, takes little exercise, yet is stick thin.

My daughter had a friend, Mel. Mel was tall and slender with long dark curly hair like Charles II (though I suspect he wore a wig). She did eat a healthy diet, but never put on a pound, however much she put away. I saw her not long ago, actually and she is still slender (as are her sisters and mother), despite two small children.

My daughter didn't tell me this until a couple of years after the event, probably because she thought Mel would be embarrassed. Oh dear, will she now? Maybe I should have changed the name. Too late ... sorry, Mel darling, if you ever come across this.

One day at our house, Mel went off to the loo. She flushed. A few minutes later, she flushed again, then again. Then she called El. They peered at the vast sausage-like turd in the pan and flushed again, but it was too big to go round the bend. Eventually, they decided the only thing to do was to cut it up a bit. I have no idea what they used. I don't think I want to know, it was a long time ago and there are some thoughts you prefer not to have.

The point is, when it was cut open, a great oil slick rose out of it and settled on top of the water. Maybe some naturally thin people don't digest fats like we do and it passes straight through them? I know you can get pills that do that, but I understand the side effects aren't pleasant. Isn't 'anal seepage' a nasty thought? I've a friend who tried them valiantly for a bit and he said you certainly are encouraged to keep up a low fat diet, because you always need to know where the nearest loo is otherwise, but he couldn't take the anxiety of it after a while.

Anyway. That's my theory. The poos of skinny people who eat fatty food contain oil slicks.