Monday, 13 October 2008

Z is normal

Indeed, I worked out my BMI a couple of days ago, and it came out as 24. Overweight starts at 25, according to this very rough-and-ready calculation - I know it doesn't take into account all sorts of things, including muscle ... but actually it's a reasonable guide for me, because I'm of an average build and physique.

I also worked out how much thinner I could be before I went into the 'underweight' category. Another 2 stone. In fact, I'd have to go down to about 100 lbs before I would be officially underweight.

But anyway, it has encouraged me. Like many - most? - women, I can't estimate my own size accurately. Since I have always looked at myself and seen fattish, I can't really differentiate between degrees of fatness. If I looked fat at 8 1/2 stone, then it didn't make much difference being 10 1/2 stone, because I still looked fat. I had to be near 8 stone to recognise that I was about right, and even then I was aware of the size of my hips and I didn't have thin legs.

This is stopping right now. I am not fat, I do not look fat and I will not think of myself as fat when I am not, or look into a mirror and see fat. I still weigh more than I will do in a few months, but although I choose to lose more weight and I want to become more toned - yes, Badgerdaddy, I'll give that ball a go, though I'll have to watch that video a few more times before I remember what I'm supposed to do with it - I am looking fine (actually, this is quite hard to type, I keep wanting to put in disclaimers - 'for my age' or 'considering' or 'if it weren't for *insert body part* - but I'm not going to) and I have gone down 2 sizes in less than a year, and that is Damn Good.

So to celebrate, I went and bought a pair of jeans and a skirt, just for the sake of being able to buy a size 10. Funnily enough, I also bought a jacket - a close-fitting knitted jacket - and that's a size 12. In years gone by, my sizing was the other way round. If I had 37" hips, I'd have had a 32" bust. Now, I'm still about 35". That's fine, the best part of my weight gain was getting a cleavage for the first time and I hope I don't lose it.


Anonymous said...

I'm so impressed, having a positive body image is the most important thing and usually the hardest to achieve x well done you

Z said...

Thank you. I see so many lovely people who don't like the way they look and I am sad for them and that I was always just the same. I know now, and I wish someone had told me forcefully 40 years ago that I was naturally curvy, however slim I was and would never have thin legs or boyish hips, but that did not make me fat. If I've got enough willpower now to lose the weight, I've got enough to overcome the body image thing too!