Thursday, 16 October 2008

Pretty Damn Good!

Look, I'm sorry about this and I will get over it and not harp on about it, but remember please that this blog is as much to give myself heart and encouragement, and also give myself a record of this whole dreary *diet* malarkey, as it is anything else.

I wore my new skirt and jacket today. And, frankly, I looked in the mirror and thought 'damn good'. And I went downstairs and did this'n'that to get ready and then went into the kitchen and the Sage came in and I said "I'm wearing my new skirt and jacket, what do you think?" And the Sage, who usually says "yes fine" without looking, looked and said "You look lovely, and I do like the colour of that jacket - it looks nice and warm too, it's wool isn't it?" I agreed and said that most of my jackets are black, brown or grey and I wanted some colour (it's a sort of red wine colour) and this was the one I found in the sale, reduced to £30 (while my weight is changing so much I only buy in sales).

The thing is, he doesn't ever say anything. I don't think he's ever remarked spontaneously on my appearance and for his face to light up and an opinion to be proffered over and above what I'd asked for is remarkable indeed.

One has to take a balanced view. I might grumble that he hasn't mentioned my weight loss. But. He never mentioned my weight gain or gave any indication that he minded at all. So I can hardly complain if he doesn't say anything now. He is vastly polite and kind and he loves me for what I am, whether big or small. Nothing to complain of there and so much to be glad of. But it was so lovely to receive an *almost* spontaneous compliment.

Actually, Dilly has lost a fair bit of weight in the past few months. I said, today, that I'd seen her walking along the road and thought how pretty and young she looked (absolutely true, I was proud for her) and I also mentioned that she looks very slim. She said that her friend Sarah, who came over last night, mentioned that she had lost weight - "mind you, Sarah was the one who said I was looking fat!" Fair enough, I said, because at least she says the positive as well as the negative.

Anyway, I looked pretty damn good in my size 10 skirt and I received compliments from friends who know I've been dieting and are pleased for me. And when another friend, whom I haven't known for long, said that she sometimes looks in the mirror and is depressed (she is smart and attractive, but in her 70s and let's face it, the only way is down - for me as well as her, if 20 years behind) I said "no, look in the mirror and think "Pretty Damn Good! Appreciate yourself and don't judge harshly if it isn't merited. You look great and you should know it."

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