Tuesday, 28 October 2008


Maybe it's just the weather. I still feel perfectly well and am not lacking in energy, nor am I tired, but I hurt more than I did. Not more than I did a year ago - it hasn't occurred to me to take painkillers, which I had done whenever I expected to be busier than usual or, if I forgot, as a hasty result of it, and I haven't been kept awake by not having a comfortable side to lie on, and I don't have to crawl to a table to haul myself up from a kneeling position - so I am better than I was, but having been considerably better during the summer, it comes a bit hard to feel creaky and old again. Especially as I'm too proud to admit it. I've told people I'm loads better, and I am, so i can't go back on it. I'm still saying "oh pfft, I'll stave off this operation for years yet." And so I will. Well, I suppose so.

I do think it is the weather; colder and wetter, that is making the arthritis hurt more, but I'm bored and disappointed that cycling is such an effort. I feel that I'm starting from the beginning again, and I don't have the incentive any more. I do have the habit, though, and the stubbornness, so I won't slacken. But I can feel the ache of my muscles, and they feel so much firmer, so why aren't they doing the job without so much effort? It's not as if I'm expecting more than I was - well, that isn't quite so. I know that there are bits of road I could do now that I got off and walked up back in the spring - but everyone else seems to do it easily and I find it so hard. Boo. Though not Hoo, of course. I am stubborn, after all.

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