Sunday, 6 July 2008

Z forgets to drink her beer

It has been good for me, the last few days. I really don't feel nearly so bulgy as I did. I'm still bearing in mind, though, that I weigh now what I did at the end of my first two pregnancies; that is, before the baby was born. How tiny must I have been when not pregnant? And I didn't know. I thought I was a bit porky, like just about every other woman. What a waste of my youth that was: wouldn't confidence in my body have been wonderful?

Oh well. 30 years too late.

Peering into the fridge, wondering what there was for lunch (not a lot) I was tempted by the can of beer. I took it out and went to cut a slice of bread. I put it on the Aga to toast, went back to the fridge for butter (I was going to have it with Marmite), put some butter on the dish - and then changed my mind. I didn't fancy butter and I can't quite do Marmite without, so I made a cup of Marigold vegetable bouillon (14 calories) instead and had the toast plain. Nice bread though, with poppy and sunflower seeds and millet and stuff.

I just went out to the kitchen again, to get some fruit. I saw the half-full wine bottle. "Mm, wine" I thought and then remembered thinking "mm, beer" half an hour earlier. The unopened can was still sitting on the counter by the fridge. I evidently hadn't wanted it that much. I put it back in the fridge and got out yoghurt instead. I've also had a peach and a nectarine. For tonight, there is one steak as Ro wasn't very hungry the other night, which I will stir-fry with vegetables and thus make do for the three of us.

Just for now, it seems to be working if I am very circumspect during the day and eat as little as possible. It's necessary not to get too tired and hungry though, as then I'd be quite desperate for food and be in danger of eating anything that comes to hand. I've been tempted, certainly. If I do start to dip badly, I eat a couple of jelly babies to shoot the blood sugar level up quickly and then eat something more sensible (or not, if that's enough to keep me going for another hour or two). I'm eating quite a lot of fruit as it's the time of the year for it, and for a snack I'll eat a raw carrot, because the new season English carrots are gorgeous now and really quite substantial. After a day like this, I can relax at dinnertime and eat what the family eats.

I had a bittermint the other night. I fancied it, and looked at the box. Each one has 80 calories. I reckoned that was absolutely fine. Actually, half would have been enough. Maybe I'll try cutting one in half another time and putting the rest back. Once it's bitten, it's more than anyone can bear, to wrap up the other half and put it away.

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