Big heads, small bodies.

I think I could perhaps have a career in film or on television. Most actors have bloody great big faces, disproportionate to their bodies certainly. Many actresses do to, but from what I've seen it's largely a male thing.

I do, too. Well, I think I do. I remember when I lost a lot of weight in a short space of time, my head looked enormous. In fact, my head is one of the first places I lose weight from (including my face, of course), along with my hands and feet, which is very strange, I can tell you.

I was pretty porky when I lived in London last. I had been wining and dining my lady friend at the time, and when we broke up I was devastated, as she had been a close friend before we got together, for many years.

I wasn't interested in food, just coffee, cigarettes and that's it. I got by eating All Bran, as I just couldn't be arsed doing anything else. Seriously, try eating two bowls of All Bran a day (or whenever you're hungry) and you'll lose a ton of weight. I did that for about six weeks without even thinking about it, and next thing you know I've dropped from 17 stone+ to a little over 14 stone.

That's a hell of a drop. Work – at the time, I was employed primarily by QVC, which was great fun – had suggested, politely and kindly, that I take a holiday. Looking at the pics now, I can see that I have a movie star's head, if not the looks to match.

Hmmmm. I'm sure there was a point to this when I started typing. Arse.