Sunday 1 February 2009

Z plans to procrastinate

i've been quiet, after a brief January flourish, because not much has happened on the dieting front. I cycled into school three days out of five and didn't enjoy a moment of it, mostly because I'm so damn slow. One day, I was overtaken on a slight uphill incline by a lady who I know to be at least 80 years of age. I can't help it and I can't go faster, any more than I can walk faster than I do, or can not limp nearly all the time. I am building myself up to go and talk to the doctor again.

Not that I know quite what I'm going to say. I don't know how much it 'should' hurt or how much I 'should' limp at the stage I am, which I don't know either. I should find out, I suppose, and I guess that's what I'll enquire about. He said, when I first went to him, that it's my call. He'll refer me to a consultant when I ask him to. But being referred doesn't necessarily mean that I think I'm getting near the time I should have a new hip. I find it hard to believe that, though I recognise I could be refusing to accept it. But it doesn't hurt *that* much and last summer it was fine most of the time.

The thing is, I'm okay about the hip. What concerns me is that limping is putting a strain on my knee and my spine and my other leg and that this will bring nearer the time when any or all of them will give me trouble.

There's another reason I'm disinclined to go to the doctor, which is that he will want to weigh me. He nearly had to force me on the scales last time and then I nearly cried, which really rather upset him (which was quite sweet of him). And oh lord, isn't that humiliating - both the being weighed and the crying.

Anyway, I'm going to make the appointment. But probably not tomorrow. I think I can pretend to be much too busy for a while yet.

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