Sensitivity in the New Man

I was paid a compliment by a woman who I know to be absolutely straight-talking yesterday. Not that she was straight talking just yesterday (which she was), she is a straight-talker, and I saw her yesterday.

You know what I mean. I'm lucky Dave doesn't come here with sentences like those.

Anyway, she said when she saw me that I was looking slimmer. I forget her actual words, but it was certainly a compliment; it's been almost a year since I saw this woman last, so any weight loss might seem more pronounced to her. I'm surprised she remembered what I look like, actually.

But I didn't take the compliment well. I don't get a lot of compliments, and if I do they're usually about my eyes, which let's face it are a genetic accident. I responded by saying: "No, I haven't lost any weight. I left some on the train, I have to pick it up from lost property on the way home."

Good response, I thought, but looking back, why on earth could I not just accept the compliment?

Z is stuck

Spirit is still willing, but so is the will to eat. I know I'm slipping a bit, gently - it's not doing any harm so far but my weight is still about the same - on the bathroom scales the needle hovers a little below the 9 1/2 stone mark, whether by a pound or two or three varies, but there always seems to be some reason not to start that final stern diet.

I have bought trousers and a skirt today for which I can't afford to put on any weight. I suppose that could be considered a start. Could it? One thing is that I've had a bad cold with a chesty cough and so I haven't been out on my bike much at all. I'm better now, so am back on the bike. Today, I was in Norwich so didn't think I'd have to go into town afterwards, but then I had to go out after all, at about 8 o'clock this evening. It was only between 4 and 5 miles altogether, but maybe worked off a bit of that spaghetti Carbonara I misguidedly cooked for dinner tonight. It's noticeable, by the way, that however much I make of that dish it all gets eaten. Tomorrow, I have too much shopping to do to fit in the bike panniers so I'll go by car, but I've a meeting in the evening 3 miles away, so that'll do for the daily exercise.

Next week I'll be in Italy, but I know I'll do a lot of walking there. I daresay the diet will go awry - when in a hotel I eat plain bread, fruit and yoghurt with black coffee for breakfast as a concession to dieting, but afterwards I'm not going to bore my companions with extreme care. Besides, I like the food too much.

In a groove

It's been a while, because nothing has changed. I haven't been weighing myself because I am pretty sure I'm just the same. In one way this means that I've settled into a new weight 22 lbs less than it used to be, but since I actually wanted to lose 30 lbs or so, it does indicate that I'll have to kick-start it sooner or later. Not this week, i've just bought some cheese and pâté from the market. That's the thing - if I want to actually lose weight rather than simply not put it on, I can't afford any indulgences at all, and when you're overweight and say you're cutting down it's all right to refuse fattening stuff, but when you're not particularly overweight it sounds picky and borderline obsessive.

The good thing is that the warmer weather is making cycling easier. And my hip is hurting loads less. Well, I say hip, but actually it's my knee that troubles me more, but I know it's the strain put on it by walking awkwardly, plus referred pain. I'm managing not to limp at present, most of the time, thanks to the extra 9 mm lift in my shoe and less pain.

I can't nag you enough - if you're now in your 30s and you get joint pains, do lose the weight now. 20 years isn't long, even if it seems it now, and I'm shocked at losing a third of an inch from my leg because of arthritis damage over the last couple of years. I wasn't that fat - that wasn't the cause of the problem which seems to be heredity plus bad luck, but if you're overweight and quite energetic, that's a hell of a lot of strain on your joints. All I can hope to do now is slow down damage: what's done can't be put back.

Of course, in 20 years techniques will be better for repairing problems, but it's still our job to take care of ourselves and I don't think we can rely on that. After all, will the NHS pay for it by then? Will we afford health insurance? Do you actually want major operations? - a replacement is never as good as the original was. I know how I put the weight on, over quite a few years, and it didn't take much extra.

Dietary madness

In the last month and a bit, I have, for the first time in my life, been on a diet. First, it was a wheat- and yeast-free diet, for a week. My stomach was no longer so bloated after food. This was compounded by the advice of a herbalist, who suggested a selection of foods I was reacting badly to, and had been for years.

So out of the blue, I became a true salad dodger. I can no longer eat spinach, rocket, watercress, lamb's lettuce... All the delicious, iron-rich leaves. No bananas, either. Or tomatoes, which is rather difficult.

I've cut right down on pasta (and all wheat), cut bread out, and on and off for the last three weeks, have also removed sugar from my diet, which includes beer.

I have so much more energy now, it's crazy. I get up in the morning having slept brilliantly, sometimes go for a run, work all day, graze on oatcakes, houmous, carrots, and the occasional pork pie (that's my wheat fix - a small pork pie every other day from the local butchers which uses only the best lips and arseholes in their ingredients. Actually, they really do use good ingredients, butchered locally, and will happily tell you what's in everything. They're great.). Breakfast is free from starch and is usually some variety of tinned fruit. It's a convenience thing. Often it's peaches, prunes, maybe strawberries or pineapple. Only the tinned fruit that's in juice, with no added sugar.

At the end of the day, I cook dinner for my wonderful wife and stepdaughter, then I go to the gym, and do my food when I get back. More often than not recently, it's been a baked potato (with a little salt on, no butter), and roasted veg (generally calabrese and parsnip) with a skinless chicken breast cooked in foil with a tiny bit of olive oil on it.

The end result? I weigh less than 100 kilos and while my waist is not quite down a jeans size, I am close enough to get away with wearing jeans that are a size smaller. It's a tiny amount that needs to go, and could easily be achieved, I think, with a proper core strength workout. Last night's workout involved some toning of the stomach muscles, with a full one minute plank for the first time in my life*! Oh, and some side planks for the oblique muscles too, which will help.

My weight, according to the gym last night, is 99.6 kilos. I am very, very pleased with that – almost as pleased as I am to have been on three runs since Saturday (short runs, but runs neverthless - longest was three miles, and it was bliss), and three gym workouts too.

The only thing bothering me about being sugar-free is the lack of beer, so I might go 'low sugar' when this week is out, and just reincorporate beer into the diet a little bit on weekends...

In short, it's all good, dawg.

*Actually, I count seconds with saying the number in full, then 'mississippi' - this means my seconds are more like 1.2 seconds long (especially when you get past 12), so that's more like a 1:20 plank, which is awesome!

What? But Z wants everything.

Plain porridge for breakfast, Ryvita and Marmite, plain yoghurt and fruit juice for lunch and a banana and more Ryvita this afternoon. Salmon with carrots, courgettes and pasta tonight. Wine, of course. That's it. Those chocolate biscuits do not know the woman they have taken on. I don't even want them any more. They have lost their tasty thrall.

I didn't have time to go to the swimming pool today so Weeza went instead. I think that works just as well, don't you? I didn't, as I'd meant, cycle in to town as it was blowing half a gale and I didn't care for it at all. So no exercise. And none tomorrow because I'll be at an all-day sedentary thing. Still, can't have everything.

Still resisting

I'd say that the habit that had put on the pounds was biscuits, but it was also the easiest to break. One often accepts a biscuit with a cuppa out of habit more than hunger, and it's only too easy to take a second. But once I'd decided not to, I realised I didn't need them at all and I've hardly had a sweet biscuit in the last 15 months. But again today, I found it hard to resist. There's no excuse this time, I just fancied a chocolate digestive. Both this morning and this afternoon.

No, I didn't have one. It wasn't because I was hungry, just that I fancied it. I ate some Ryvita this afternoon instead, and I daresay the calorific content wasn't that different. It's not the point though. I think that all I want is one chocolate biscuit. But actually, the chocolate biscuit wants me. It wants to be stronger than I am. It's not.

Z resists the primrose path to biscuit dalliance

It's all gone to pot as, having had an attack of sciatica, I'm distinctly unwilling to take any exercise at all. Today I was going to cycle in to town as it felt a lot better, until I got a migraine, whereupon I didn't want to exert myself. The blurred eyesight recurred while I was shopping so I had to wait until that passed for a while before I came home.

I have the feeling I've probably put on a couple of pounds, so in my ostrich-like fashion I'm not going to weigh myself this week. What a fool. Still, hey. There was one small achievement. I opened a packet of particularly delicious chocolate biscuits for the family, put them on a plate and handed them round. I really wanted one. After a migraine I crave sweet carbohydrates. I didn't have one however, and only ate a rice cake. One biscuit would do little harm, but it would still be stupid as I'd want another one tomorrow.