The mice prove it. We're all doomed.

Yes they do. A 'recent study' shows that fat mice have gingivitis, whereas skinny ones don't.

I'd love to be a scientist. I could think shit like that up all day, every day. "Do hot air balloonists wear gloves more often than cyclists, do you think? Let's have a study!" "I wonder if fat people wear bigger clothes than thin people? I call for a study!"

Apparently, the porksters – one of whom I count myself – are more open to infection and all that jazz, because of the added fatness in their immune systems.

S'funny, I'm sure all my skinny mates are ill all the time, and I'm not.

Furthermore, looking into that study, you have to wonder if any of the mice would have had gum disease had they not had the virus washed around their mouths. I think what this could actually show is that scientists are picking on fat mice by rubbing their mouths more, and with worse diseases to make them ill.

So what does it prove? Scientists are fuckers, and this study is a hate crime. End of.