I've felt quite encouraged in the past few days because I've actually been quite looking forward to my daily visits to the town on my bike. At the same time, it was slightly depressing as this just does not fit the mental self-image that I've had for the last thirty-five years and I'm not sure that it's the direction I want to go in re-evaluation.
There's another down-side, which is that I was very hungry yesterday. I don't usually get very hungry - I can take or leave food on the whole and the three meals and nothing else regime I'd adopted hasn't been difficult to follow. I had noticed that I was more likely to clear my plate at dinner, but that was fine. However, yesterday, I was hungry by 4.30, with three more hours to wait before dinner. In the intervening time, I ate quite a lot of raw carrot, some raw turnip and a slice of bread. Much as I enjoy raw vegetables, this was not at all cheering. I will have to think of something to fill the gap between 1 o'clock and the evening meal. I was still hungry after dinner and ate two clementines.
On the other hand, I cheerily cycled all over town this morning, to the extent that I went back to do things I'd forgotten. I shouldn't have tried to fit everything into one pannier, though.
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I was thinking about self-image last night. Mainly in teenagers, how when you're young you almost think 'Right, this is who I am' and you can't picture yourself doing anything other than what and who you see yourself as. Then I concluded that this changes in most ways with experience and the flexibility that hard times - and good times - teach us.
Maybe you need to not think about the cycling - it's just a mode of transport, after all. Except it has good side-effects.
Yes, I'd just been getting on with it and not dwelling on the fact that I was bored. But this afternoon, I was cycling over E'sham dam in the sunshine and it was lovely.
That part of the cycle is really, really lovely. In fact, that bit of road is only spoiled by a few idiot drivers now and again.
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